How to Stop People from Driving You Crazy
In a recent sermon, my pastor gave the analogy that some people are like bricks, while others are like a piece of velvet. This blog is about the velvets protecting themselves from the bricks.
First, let me say that we all have different personalities. It is essential to our well-being to educate ourselves and navigate diverse personalities with grace and empathy. And, perhaps some of you would agree, that as we age, our tolerance for dealing with difficult people (bricks) fades. I’ll leave it at that. (smiley face emoji).
The most crucial step in this process is accepting that you cannot change others, but you can change the way you respond to them. Trying to change people is a losing battle. The only real power we have is over how we choose to respond.
When we stop reacting emotionally and start responding intentionally, we reclaim control and protect our peace from being hijacked by others’ moods, words, or expectations.
Therefore, I am taking the liberty of sharing some suggested responses to diffuse conversations and protect our well-being.
The Sanity Flowchart
Before you spiral, consult this cozy decision tree:
Is this person driving me crazy? If they are,
→ Is it worth engaging?
→ or, should I exit gracefully?
Helpful prompts:
“Do I need to be right, or do I need to be free?”
“Would a snack help more than a snarky comeback?”
Spoiler: snacks win 90% of the time.
If you decide to engage, here are some appropriate lines of response:
The “Not Today” Phrase Bank
Sometimes, the kindest thing you can say is “no” with a bit of sparkle. Try these gentle, boundary phrases:
“I’m not available for that energy today.”
“Let’s circle back when we’re both feeling grounded.”
“I hear you. I’m just not ready to address this right now.”
“I apologize, I’m just not up for this conversation.”
Print these phrases on sticky notes, tuck them in your planner, or tape one to your tea kettle for moral support.
Scripts for Repeat Offenders
For those who test your patience regularly, here’s your script stash:
“I know you mean well, but I need space to think.”
“I’m working on staying calm, so I’ll step away for now.”
“Can we please pause this conversation. I need to take a break.”
When Someone is Talking Too Much:
· I want to give this the attention it deserves, but I’m starting to feel overwhelmed—can we pause here and pick it up later?”
· “I’m loving this, but do you mind if we take a breather?”
· “You’ve got so many great thoughts—I need a moment to catch up!”
· “You’re on a roll! Can we please hit the pause button for a moment?”
Earlier this week, I was in one of these difficult situations, and I simply stated, “I don’t believe this is my problem,” and turned and walked away. I felt bad afterwards, but funny enough, the person I had addressed took it in stride, and there was no damage to our relationship.
Perhaps sometimes it’s okay for the ‘velvet’ people to address the ‘bricks’?
