How to Let Go of a Grudge

Grudges are deep-rooted feelings of resentment or anger towards someone who has wronged us in the past. Holding onto a grudge can feel like a way to protect ourselves from future harm or seek justice for a wrongdoing.

However, holding onto resentment can lead to increased stress, communication breakdowns, and a toxic environment. These negative emotions can hinder our ability to trust others and make it difficult to form new connections.

I like to say that a grudge means that you are bitter towards someone. What face do you make when you eat something bitter? That is precisely how we should feel about a grudge. Whenever we realize we are holding a grudge, we should scrunch our faces and say, "Nope, I'm not going to allow those negative feelings to poison me."

Let's pave the way towards healthier interactions and a more fulfilling life by learning to release grudges and embrace forgiveness.

First, letting go of a grudge is a choice. You can choose to release the grudge or hold on to it. It is your choice. The other person is not asking you to hold onto it. Your mother and father are not asking you to hold on to it. Your pastor, friend, or priest is not telling you to hold on. YOU are holding on to the negative feelings, and only YOU can DECIDE to release them. This is called intentional healing.

Start by acknowledging the emotions tied to the grudge and investigate and understand the root cause of this lingering resentment. Emotions are just data. If you are angry or bitter, it is your emotions trying to tell you something. Get to the root of why you are holding the grudge so you can choose what to do with it.

Practice empathy towards the person you hold a grudge against. Try to understand their perspective and motivations. Were they acting out of their own hurt? Hurting people hurt people. Were they acting out of ignorance? Perhaps they didn't even realize they were hurting you?

Cultivate forgiveness by letting go of the desire for revenge and choosing peace instead. Simply say, "I choose to walk in peace."

Now, engage in positive self-talk and focus on personal growth rather than dwelling on past grievances. Stay committed to this process, knowing that true liberation lies in releasing the burden of bitterness. See the links below to my recent blogs on positive self-talk.

Being pliable is a big part of overcoming grudges. If you are saying, "I can't change my feelings," or "I need to stay mad," or "It doesn't matter what I do; they will always be the same," you are missing the mark. You are only responsible for your feelings, not the other person's feelings or actions.

Try saying this, "Well, I can change, but that person will never change, and that's okay with me. I am only responsible for myself." You cannot change the other person, but you can change how you respond to them.

Sometimes, we need help. Cultivate a support network of friends and loved ones who can guide and encourage your journey to forgiveness. Learn how to set healthy boundaries to protect yourself while still practicing forgiveness. Also, therapy and counseling can play a crucial role in releasing long-held grudges and moving toward forgiveness. Seeking professional help is a commendable decision that leads to a profound sense of liberation and emotional well-being.  

Letting go of a grudge is a transformative journey toward freedom, peace, and personal growth.

Click here to navigate to my blog: Words Can Change Your World

Click here to navigate to my blog: How to Stay Positive in a Negative World